“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” ~William James

Rather than constantly trying to remove stressors that trigger anxiety in our kids, it's actually more effective to help them learn how to manage their anxiety and function as well as they can, even when they are feeling anxious.

When we allow children to avoid the things they are afraid of, they will feel better initially but it will encourage anxiety as time goes on.

We can't promise our children that their fears are not real, but we can express confidence that they are going to be okay, and that they will be able to manage their feelings, and that their anxiety will go down in time. We have to assure them that we have realistic expectations for them, and that we understand that they are trying their best.

I try not to belittle or amplify fears in my children by listening and being empathetic rather than being dismissive or making them feel like they should be worried.

I also try to show them how I cope with anxiety myself. I explain how certain things make me nervous too, and that I try my best to cope by writing down my feelings, listening to music, or talking to a friend.

There are some great books out there that help to ease worries, empower children, and help us as adults to help our kids when they need us the most.

Here are some of my favorites:

A Little SPOT of Feelings: Emotion Detective by Diane Alber

This book helps children not only recognize feelings in themselves, but in others too. It's a story about a little Scribble SPOT that is an Emotion Detective. He teaches kids about different emotions and facial expressions so they know how to name their feelings, and also shows specific examples of children describing how they are feeling. This is a great one for very young children because it helps them to discuss and name their feelings in a kid-friendly way.

Maia and the Very Tall Wall by Brian Wray

In this book we meet Maia, who is a curious girl with lots of questions for anyone who will listen. Behind Maia’s house is a peculiar stone wall. As Maia grows older, she notices that the wall grows too. While the wall gets higher and higher, Maia grows shyer and shyer. Before long, she is anxious and too afraid to ask her questions out loud, and the thing she wants to know the most is, “What’s on the other side of that wall?” Maia tries all kinds of ways to get to the top, but none of them seem to work. Finally, she summons the courage to speak up, and a most surprising thing happens-she gets an answer! By using her voice, and with help from others, Maia gets to the top of the wall, and a whole new world opens up!

When I Am Worried by Michael Gordon

This is a perfect book for explaining anxiety to preschoolers. It's a really comforting story for kids when their world becomes unsettled. I love how it shows solutions that help children handle their feelings in healthier ways.

How to Tame My Anxiety Monster by Melanie Hawkins

This book is about a child with a monster that no one else can see but him. He doesn't like when his monster comes around because it makes his stomach hurt, or makes it hard to concentrate or sleep. He learns practical solutions on how to tame his anxiety monster and he will definitely inspire kids who read it to do the same.

Ruby Finds a Worry by Tom Percival

Ruby is a happy, curious, imaginative girl. But one day, she finds something unexpected: a Worry. It's not such a big Worry, at first. But every day, it grows a little bigger and bigger, until eventually, the Worry is ENORMOUS and is all she can think about. But when Ruby befriends a young boy, she discovers that everyone has worries, and not only that, there's a great way to get rid of them too.

Greta and the Dark Cloud: A Story About Overcoming Fear and Anxiety for Kids by Lana Simkins

Great is a young girl who can't stop thinking about the dark cloud that seems to be following her around all day long. When she is finally forced to confront the storm that follows, she learns that it brings good things too. This book shows that it's important to be prepared, some scary situations can’t be avoided, and that there can sometimes be a reward after hard things are overcome.

Wilma Jean the Worry Machine by Julia Cook

Wilma Jean is a little girl who worries about everything. She wakes up with worries in her head and what if’s about the day. She worries about missing the bus, doing a math problem wrong, having friends to play with, and getting carrots in her lunch! This book is fun and humorous and offers creative strategies for parents and teachers to use that can lessen the severity of anxiety. Perfect for grades 2-6.

When My Worries Get Too Big! by Kari Dunn Buron

This book was originally written for a highly anxious 5 year old, but can easily be used, and has been used to teach relaxation to children ages 4-12. I love how it incorporates a 5-point scale and lots of child friendly imagery to teach Emotion Regulation skills to even very young learners.

The Incredible 5-Point Scale: The Significantly Improved and Expanded Second Edition by Kari Dunn Buron and Mitzi Curtis

I was not familiar with the first edition of this book, but I am amazed by the variety of different 5-Point Scales that are introduced and explained in this expanded second edition! I love how it includes goals and objectives that can be used when incorporating the scales in students’ IEPs. It also includes free downloadable content, including blank scales, small portable scales, and worksheets for easy duplication. The main focus, which I appreciate, is the importance of self-management and self-regulation.

Social Skills Activities for Kids: 50 Fun Exercises for Making Friends, Talking and Listening, and Understanding Social Rules by Natasha Daniels LCSW

This book is full of activities that families and school personnel can implement to give kids aged 6-10 the confidence they need to successfully navigate social situations at home, school, and the world in between. Their are helpful strategies for kids whether they are attempting to communicate with peers and adults, using and interpreting body language, or dealing with bullying and all aspects of social media.

I Lost My BFF: A Book about Jealousy and Rejection Within Friendships by Jennifer Licate

This is perfect for the 10-13 year olds and from the amazing Navigating Friendship series. A lot of anxiety in this age group comes from not having the communication tools they need to have tough conversations as a first step to resolving conflicts. I really love how this book, with it's entertaining short chapter book format, teaches how important it is to respect how people feel, and that it's a good idea to be open to developing many friendships even though you have a best friend. I recommend the teacher and counselor activity guide to go along with this book, which you can find here on this link, if you work with 4th-7th graders!

Thank you so much for taking the time to visit the blog today. I hope you found this post worthwhile.

If you would like to connect further, feel free to leave a comment, email or message on any of my social media channels. I will get back to you in a timely fashion.

Yours truly,

Jennifer

“The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.” –Dr. Ralph Nichols.