“When a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.” Alexander Den Heijer

Children have very little control over their environment. We have to make sure they are safe, they have everything they need, and we also have to make sure we are creating the most nurturing environment possible so they will grow up mentally and emotionally strong.

There are ways we can make this happen and they do not require any special materials, talents, or a whole lot of extra time. We can make a difference in the life of a child by being mindful of these five simple truths.

Words Matter.

We can choose our words carefully. It’s important to praise children in meaningful ways. Instead of saying “Good Job! or “You are So Smart!” there are other phrases and statements that are more helpful and nurturing and will also promote a healthy growth mindset in our children. Examples are:

• I like the way you are doing ____.

• You have really improved on ____.

• I can tell you tried your best because ____.

• I admire the way you ____.

• What a wonderful friend you are!

• I appreciate how helpful you were when you ____.

• You really handled that situation well because you ____.

• That was a very responsible thing you did.

• You have such a positive attitude.

• I love the creative way you solved that problem.

• I know I can trust you because ____.

• I can tell you studied very hard.

• You did a great job helping ____ with her project.

• It’s so great to see you always prepared for class.

• It was brave of you to ____.

• I noticed that even though you thought that was hard, you didn’t give up.

• It was wonderful to hear you participating today.

This is a really helpful chart from gozen.

Being Fully Present Matters.

According to Elkhart Tolle, “Most people are never fully present in the now, because unconsciously they believe that the next moment must be more important than this one.” It’s easy to let moments pass and often go unappreciated as we plan and look ahead. We can make a conscious effort to live in the moment, and appreciate all the little things about each day. Limiting time on devices and scheduling regular uninterrupted family time has definitely worked for us.

Gratitude Brings Joy.

We all teach our children to say please and thank you but cultivating gratitude is so much more. It’s important to take the time to teach our children to think about the things we have and more importantly, the people who are always there for us.

Gratitude is always a choice. We keep gratitude journals at home and in my classroom.

This past month we started a new tradition, a gratitude pumpkin, and every day during the month of November each member of my family came up with one thing they were grateful for to add to the pumpkin. It definitely sparked many meaningful conversations and made this past Thanksgiving more special than ever before.

I also love “The Gratitude Game” from Teach Beside Me, which is a great variation of pick up sticks that encourages all of us to be more grateful. The purple is my favorite stick because according to the code we can name anything we are thankful for and there are so many possibilities! Find the directions here. It’s fun for home and school.

This ‘A Month of Gratitude’ is a great free printable from Views From a Step Stool that would be awesome a family to work on together any month of the year. Number 2 has the idea of creating a Thankful Turkey Wreath but obviously if you are not doing this during November you could make a different themed wreath but still add things you are thankful for to it. In February it would be fun to make a conversation heart themed wreath, January could have snowflakes, and July could have red, white, and blue stars, with each one stating something your family is grateful for.

I love these Gratitude Stones! Find out how they are created here.

Kids Have Grumpy Days Too and That’s Ok.

This quote from Rebecca Eanes, author of Positive Parenting, really sums it up best:

We can give children tools to help them become aware of what they are feeling and how to manage those feelings in healthy ways. There are many ways children can learn to self regulate. In the classroom I use differentiated calm corner techniques which I talk about briefly here. There are so many ways to help children express themselves and work through conflicts. There are collaborative activities that can be done in the classroom and will also help to build community in Educate the Heart, and I really love this resource from WholeHearted School Counseling that gives children so many choices for self-regulation coping strategies that can be done at school.

At home, encourage children to share their feelings and make sure they are validated. Always actively listen before giving advice. Model healthy behavior and follow through on promises. Lead by example by practicing self-affirmation and self-regulation exercises together.

This free printable chart of positive affirmations can be found here.

Always remember that it is connection and comfort they need, not criticism and control.

Humor Can Heal.

Enjoy your children. Enjoy every moment, every stage, and know that although none of us are perfect we are all in this together. Seek connections with like-minded parents and don’t be afraid to ask for help.

We are better together.

Thank you so much for taking the time to visit the blog today. I hope you found this post worthwhile.

I’d love to connect further so feel free to leave a comment or message and I’ll be sure to respond in a timely fashion.

Have a beautiful day!

Yours truly,

Jennifer